My Famous List Video--Director's Cut

I went out one day, to do some shopping in the woods.  I found 7 bizarre things that will blow your mind, and cure you of your donkey cancer of the brain!  So grab some popcorn, settle in for the evening, because it's going to be a wild ride!

Hey you kids, stay off my lawn!

Okay, now, the moment you've all been waiting for!  Lo, I present The List (Director's Cut):

1)  Tree
2)  More tree
3)  Squirrel-neck
4)  UFO
5)  Crop circle
6)  Sunflower
7)  Even more tree

So there you have it my finely feathered friends.  I hope you enjoyed this video.  Please hit that like and subscribe button, if you want to support my work. However I know I have already failed before I even got started.  Everyone says so. Therefore, I am going to swallow a bottle of sleeping pills and down this cheap bottle of vodka.

Post Script:  Before I die in a few minutes, can anyone tell me why List Videos are so damned popular?  What do you gain by finding out Which 7 Presidents wore Ladies Underwear?  Or, The 7 Most Popular Pancake Syrup Brands that Failed in the 70's?  Why?

Why? Why do you need to know about The Top Seven Times Playboy Models Regretted Eating Breakfast?

Why, O Great Lord of List Videos?
Ah, as Nirvana says's, never mind.
The pills are taking effect--so
As always, thanks for watching
See you on the flip side, braah!

Attention:  Dire Warning Critical Disclaimer Thing 

Son, you will eat that goddamn macaroni and cheese and you will like it! 

--Francis Ford Coppola
film director 

Hi, my name is Anthony and I have been spending years hacking and slashing out the finest short word content available anywhere. This is Setting Puppies on Fire! at Patron, where book junkies go to finance their reading and writing habits! 

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Consider throwing a fellow star child of the universe a few silver coins so I may continue to plant the finest thought forms into the fertile intelligence of the universe! 

Happy readings, and have a wonderful day! 

Disclaimer:   No, don't worry, the puppies were not set on fire.  That would be mean.

hitlers seasame street 24th mechanized puppet panzer massacre

Like sands through the hourglass so are the days of our lives

once upon a time
adolf hitler and big bird
formed a pact intent on ridding
sesame street
of the black rain of illegal puppets
flooding the obama economy
with cheap second
rate puppetry

when i eradicate the
illegal puppetry trade
a parasite sucking the 
blood of mr hoopers store
and forcing bert and ernie
to pay higher puppet taxes
we achieve a social utopia

yes

the cheap puppet and 
their puppeteer handlers
threaten putting
mr hooper and his 
shop out of business
with their low wages
and poorly acted voices 

said the seasame street fuehrer 

hitler gave big bird command
of the 24th mechanized 
armored panzer division
and instructed him to

not stop until you destroy
every illegal puppet
and their leftist
puppeteer handlers
but 
spare the aryan 
puppets like grover
cookie monster
and mr snuffleupagus

aye aye captain

said bid bird

they wont be 
putting me and
my friends out of
work for long

so sitting atop his mighty
tiger II heavy tank
big bid lead the attack

but it was not long
before hitlers choice 
of commander of 
the 24th panzer
proved a 
choice
disastrous

bird what are you doing
said mr snuffleupagus
as birds tiger II rolled
up on him 
the mighty
tank firing rounds 
from its massive
88 millimeter gun

oh hi snuffy
i am making
seasame street great again
my friend adolf hitler said so

he gave me command 
of a mechanized panzer 
armored division 

my mission is to 
bring balance back
to the force

bird
adolf is not your friend
said snuffy

you are setting seasame 
street ablaze and hurting
the obama seasame
street economy

but
i am an 
evil genius
said bird

so bird proceeded
to level and wipe 
out every last 
square inch
and every
living 
breathing puppet
on seasame street

the carnage of puppets
torn in a hundred pieces
littered the burning buildings
and devastated businesses
a sickening sigh like meat
for the guns

uh oh said big bird

adolf hitler was furious

what is this
railed hitler

your orders
were to spare 
the good puppets
and clean up
the bad element

so he fired big bird
and appointed elmo
as head of the 
24th mechanized 
armored panzer
division

the end


Cast:

Adolf Hitler  

a German politician and leader of the Nazi Party (Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei; NSDAP). He rose to power as Chancellor of Germany in 1933 and later Führer--Leader--of the German Reich.  After being defeated in World War II, Hitler fled and set up shop at seasame street, as this tale related 

Aloysius Snuffleupagus 

(/ˌsnʌfəlˈʌpəɡəs/), more commonly known as Mr. Snuffleupagus, Snuffleupagus or Snuffy for short, is one of the characters on Sesame Street, an educational television program for young children. He is a woolly mammoth-like creature, without tusks or (visible) ears, and has a long thick pointed tail, similar in shape to that of a dinosaur (like a sauropod; in particular an Apatosaurus) or other reptile. 

Big Bird  

The main protagonist of the children's television show Sesame Street. He is an eight-foot two-inch (249 cm) tall bright yellow anthropomorphic canary.  He can roller skate, ice skate, dance, swim, sing, write poetry, draw, and even ride a unicycle. Despite this wide array of talents, he is prone to frequent misunderstandings. On one occasion even singing the alphabet as one big long word (from the song called "ABC-DEF-GHI," pronounced /æbkədɛfgi:dʒɛkəlmɪnɒpkwɜrstu:vwɪks      ɪz/), pondering what it could mean.